User blog:Hcobb/The Sequel of Haruhi Suzumiya

The Sequel of Haruhi Suzumiya By Henry J. Cobb

[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters are the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa, etc. No infringement of their rights is intended.]

The biggest problem of the sequel to the adventures of Mikuru Asahina wasn't that Haruhi Suzumiya had cast herself into it, as an actor / director.

It wasn't that Haruhi had cast herself as the villain.

It wasn't that Haruhi's costume was a bit much, and by that I mean quite a bit too little. She wore ribbons, but not on her head.

It was that she herself now believed it to be all too real.

"So Mikuru Asahina and Itsuki Koizumi, you may have defeated one of my Yuki-clones last time, but I have dozens more. Now you are the ones who are defeated! Bah bah bah bah!"

I was amazed that Haruhi's evil laughter didn't shake her ribbons off. She must have really glued them on. I tore my eyes away from the sight long enough to check the camera settings, and then I stepped around it and into the frame.

"Evil Queen Haruhi, don't you know that good always triumphs in the end?"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Kyon. I'm just an ordinary Earth boy, but I know a secret that will defeat you!"

"What? Don't make me laugh again!" Haruhi tugged up one of the ribbons that did indeed seem to be slipping a little.

"All of your Yuki clones are in love with me and so therefore follow my orders."

"What?"

"Now Yukis, seal away her powers!"

"At once Lord Kyon!" The Yukis all shouted in perfect synchronicity.

"Noooo!" Haruhi bounced up from her throne and then fell to her knees.

"And now you are just an ordinary girl and as you said it, little more than a slave." I put my hand on Haruhi's downcast head.

I turned towards the camera and said, "Loyal viewers, this is not the end of our story. Please come back to next year's cultural festival for the third installment in our trilogy."

A few weeks later that summer, Itsuki bugged me about the outcome. "We still have 36 Yukis."

"That's not a problem. We've got one here in the clubroom, one in each library in the area, one looking after my sister and the rest in stasis at Yuki's apartment."

"Haruhi is still evil."

"That's not much of a change, and I've got it under control."

"And she still thinks that she's your slave."

"That's no problem at all." I turned to Haruhi and commanded, "Fan me faster slave."

Even in this heat, Haruhi was herself not uncomfortable. Partially this was due to some of the breeze she generated with the huge fan she held, but mostly it was because, as always when she was in the clubroom, she wore her movie "costume". Her expression was equal parts boredom, haughty indifference, spoiled mistreatment, envy towards the Yuki who sat in my lap, and a raw sexual hunger directed at me. But she didn't have to worry, because she knew I would take care of that last part this evening, as usual. On those rare occasions when I myself didn't have time, there were always plenty of Yukis who had nothing but time on their hands.

-HJC