Taniguchi and Kunikida are dead, chapter four. By Henry J. Cobb
[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters and situations are the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. Other than that, he's blameless for the following.]
On Saturday morning, we had a visitor just as we were finishing breakfast.
"Sasaki-sister! Can you stay all day?"
"Sorry, but I need to go to a school function with your brother."
"Nice to see you, Sasaki, but what makes you think I'm going?"
"You'd leave Misses Nagato and Asahina to Suzumiya for the day?"
"You're skipping over Suou?"
"Suzumiya doesn't seem to pay much attention to her."
"That seems to be the one and only case, where you are stranger than Suzumiya." I sat down next to Sasaki at the door, and put on my outdoor shoes.
"Now, now. Suou may be a bit shy, but she's made it into the same school as we have. I've noticed that even Nagato has warmed up a bit around you over the past week, Kyon. You do have your own way of reaching out to people, when you try."
"Your words suggest that I don't even try all that often." I opened the door for her.
"Kyon, when will you be back, and when can I meet all these people?"
"I don't know, little sister. All of these things are decided at higher levels than mine."
Sasaki waited until we were on our way before continuing. "Just what exactly is your relationship with Asahina?"
"She approached me once to go with her to ask Nagato about something. Other than that, you've seen at least as much of her as I have."
"Oh, what did she ask about?" Sasaki's fingers tightened slightly on my shoulders as we turned a corner with the bicycle.
"Time travel, I think."
"So it was Asahina who set up this time travel hoax?"
"She seemed a little bit too shook up to planning a prank."
"Or she might be a much better actress than you suspect. So what happened after that?"
"Asahina stayed overnight with Nagato."
Sasaki didn't respond to that. She didn't need to.
When we reached the station I saw that Nagato and Asahina were standing next to Suzumiya with Suou standing behind Nagato, as if she had been painted onto the background. While Suzumiya and Asahina matched the casual style of clothing Sasaki and I wore, both Nagato and Suou were in their school uniforms.
Despite what Sasaki had said, Suou's problem wasn't behavioral. Her problem was that she fit in poorly with the natural laws of the Universe. Was she really a registered student at our school, or did she just don a semblance of a North High school uniform in order to blend in? It took less than a second for my thoughts to jump from illusionary clothes to naked alien girl. In horror, I banished the thought.
"You're late Kyon." The actual behavioral problem girl pointed at me. "You're fined."
"I'm here five minutes before nine. Even if your own watch is busted, just look at the train station clock, Suzumiya."
"The last person to a meeting is always late, because he selfishly made the others wait for his arrival."
"Well how about Sasaki then? She came with me."
"She wasn't invited, and so does not count."
"So what are we going to do today?"
"Let's go to that cafe and talk it over. Kyon's treat."
The seating arrangement was myself, Sasaki and Suou, facing Asahina, Suzumiya and Nagato. We ordered drinks, except that the waitress skipped over Suou. I was starting to feel sorry for the alien girl, or perhaps it was just gratitude for saving my life.
"So what are your plans for today, Suzumiya?"
Suzumiya looked at Sasaki for a moment then turned to the window. "We're going to find locations to shoot my movie at."
"Then you don't need the rest of us. Would you like to come with me to the library Nagato?"
"You can't take Nagato. She's the star of the movie."
"Um, I... I didn't bring the library books I need to return." Nagato fidgeted.
"And Asahina, surely you don't want to follow Suzumiya around all day?"
"I must." Asahina stared down at her untouched drink.
"Suou?"
"With ... you." Suou responded to Sasaki. I think it was her first words of the day.
"Kyon?"
I looked over the five girls, then returned to one who might solve this. "Nagato, do you have anything else to wear, other than your school uniforms?"
"No, not much." She looked over at me then turned away.
"Then that settles it. If your star is going to be dressed as a North High student, then logically most of your scenes will be shot at North High."
"Fine. We'll fix her wardrobe first and then pick the landscapes to match."
"And who's got the money for this shopping trip? You can't expect me to pick up the tab for that too?"
"I've been saving up my trust fund."
I turned back to Nagato. "Then why haven't you bought any clothes?"
"I don't go out much and I don't know what to buy."
"Do you like the styles that Miss Asahina is wearing?"
"I don't think it'd look as good on me."
"But you agree that she has a good eye for fashion."
"I guess?"
I turned back to my own bench. "Sasaki, you seem to have a good eye for these things. Will you help out your fellow student?"
"Of course." She smiled at me.
"Kyon, you're not turning into a fashion designer, are you?"
"No way, Suzumiya. I'm just here to carry the bags."
And so began a rather boring day of shopping for clothes. At least Asahina seemed to cheer up a bit. Suou would stand or sit next to me while the other four girls went to select things for Nagato. Suzumiya and Sasaki would always argue over the results, while Nagato would demand my opinion of how the outfits looked on her. Sasaki would occasionally ask Suou if she'd like to try something on, but never got a positive response back.
At the end of the day, my bicycle was loaded down with the packages so I walked it alongside Nagato back to her apartment, while the other girls returned to their homes.
As I was walking my bike out to the street, I thought I felt eyes on me from Nagato's apartment building. I turned around, but saw nobody.
Monday morning as Sasaki and I entered the classroom, I saw that Suzumiya had her evil smile face on.
She waited until we had taken our seats before jumping to the point. "I win again."
Knowing I'd regret it, I turned to look at her. "What did you win?"
"Not one, but two mysterious transfer students came to North High today."
"Perhaps they're siblings or close friends?"
"They came here from different schools. This proves that they are secret agents who have been sent here to investigate my time traveler."
Sasaki sighed, but didn't have time to prepare her rebuttal as the teacher had arrived in the classroom.
After classes I went with Sasaki to the clubroom, while Suzumiya ran off to a different classroom.
Asahina sat lifelessly at the table, while Suou turned mechanically towards us as we entered.
I heard a ping and glanced over to see Nagato read something off the computer monitor and then type in a response.
I walked over to stand behind her chair. "Is all this chatting with new friends eating into your reading time?"
"Hi Kyon. I did promise to help them with their code. I do most of my reading at home these days."
"Just tell them that you've got free time at home, and I bet they'll rush over to your apartment with an even better computer and networking gear. Nothing is too good for their goddess."
"Please don't." She removed her hands from the keyboard to rub at her right wrist with her left hand.
"Let me see that."
She held up her right hand.
I felt the stiffness in her wrist and started to massage it out. "You're not used to all this typing. I bet you overdid the reading when you were young and that's why you have to wear glasses." I worked on her other hand and then told her to lean back so I could massage her shoulders.
Nagato was sitting there practically purring under my hands, when Suzumiya entered the clubroom.
Suzumiya frowned at us, then moved out of the doorway and pointed back to the hall. "Presenting our mysterious transfer students, Itsuki Koizumi and Kyouko Tachibana!"
"Surely I'm not mysterious at all." Tachibana entered with a sales girl's smile. "So this is the Literature Club?"
"Yes, nice to meet you Miss Tachibana." Sasaki rose out of her chair.
"And it's so nice to met you Miss Sasaki."
Sasaki caught that she hadn't been introduced, but allowed the new girl to shake her hand anyway.
"No, it's the SOS brigade!" Suzumiya turned to the new boy. "And these are the members, Mikuru Asahina, Kuyou Suou, Yuki Nagato and Kyon."
When did Suou join anything?
"This SOS brigade sounds interesting. What does it do?" Koizumi had the smile of a game show host.
"We seek out aliens, time travelers and espers, so that we can have fun with them!"
Sasaki sighed as she turned to respond to Suzumiya.
This was going to get ugly, and I'd already been through all of it before. I turned to Nagato. "Can I get you some tea?"
"Yes please." She started typing in responses to the chats from the Computer Club members.
"Kyon, can you show me where the refreshments are? I'm afraid that I just joined today and don't know my way around yet." Tachibana smiled like she was about to sell me something, on credit.
"I'll come along also."
"Oh, no, Miss Sasaki. I'll get your tea for you."
Sasaki gave me an amused look. She had also caught how she had not been asked what it was she wanted, but was willing to play along for now.
"I also am new to this school, so I trust that you will not mind if I tag along?" Koizumi's smile seemed to suggest that he had his hand on a button that would dunk an unfortunate contestant into a pool of water.
"Yes, perhaps it would save time if Kyon updated us both at the same time." Tachibana's smile dared Koizumi to do his worst.
"Speaking of service, why aren't you in your maid's uniform, Mikuru?" Suzumiya grabbed the paper bag off the shelf.
Koizumi held the door open for Tachibana and then she led the way to the cafeteria. She held up her hand before I could operate the drink machine. "Perhaps we three could chat a moment before we get the drinks for the others? No sense letting them get cold."
We sat at a table in the otherwise empty room with our three drinks.
Their fake smiles were getting to me, so I asked. "What brings you two to North High?"
"I admit that I transferred here, simply because my 'friend' Miss Tachibana did."
"So your organization has a source in mine, Mr. Koizumi? That narrows it down a bit. It must be somebody who knew about my transfer, but not the reason for it."
"And that would be?" He raised an eyebrow, but continued to smile.
"One of your allies has gone rogue. Miss Nagato has started telling people that she's a time traveler. She even told Suzumiya and Sasaki."
"She's not a time traveler."
"Apparently being an extraterrestrial was getting boring, so she decided to switch to being a time traveler. It must be the new fashion or something."
"Nagato's an alien?" I asked.
"Not anymore." Tachibana smiled at me then turned to Koizumi. "What did you pick up off her aura?"
"Dormant time traveler, but it's hard to tell with the ETs."
"And with Miss Suou?"
"Clearly alien."
"What are you two talking about?"
"Oh. My apologies, Kyon. Mr. Koizumi and I haven't told you that we're espers. Does that make it clearer?"
"Really? Okay, levitate this cup with your mental powers then."
"It doesn't work that way. The powers of Miss Tachibana and myself only allow us to sense extraordinary things, under most circumstances."
"So why are you telling me all this? Why not tell Suzumiya that aliens and espers exist so she can win the argument with Sasaki?"
"Ladies first?" Koizumi asked Tachibana.
"As you wish. Kyon, I suspect that you like a predictable world that is free of strange unexplainable events, and yet recently you have witnessed exactly these kinds of events in your own life. The reason for this is that the avatars of Order and Chaos have joined your classroom."
"Taniguchi and Kunikida?" I asked.
"Not quite. They are Suzumiya and Sasaki. One of them has the power to throw the world in screaming Chaos while the other maintains the Order of the world. It should be obvious to you which is which."
"Yeah, yeah. So what has this got to do with me?"
"Your turn." Tachibana smiled at Koizumi.
"Kyon, have you heard of the poem Fire and Ice by Robert Frost?"
"I can't say I have."
"Suppose I asked you to decide how the world will end. The world can either boil away or be plunged into eternal cold darkness. In either case all life would be extinguished. The decision is entirely yours, and the moment you decide, the end will be implemented. How would you respond?"
"I would decline to answer for as long as possible."
"An excellent decision. To use an example closer to home, consider the Taoist concept of yin-yang. The objective is not to get either yin nor yang to win, but to move them into balance."
"So what do I have to do with this?"
"Kyon, you hold the balance in your hands. This is obvious to we who are espers, but we can not explain how we know this. Words actually fail us. Recently two elements that seem naturally to fit on Suzumiya's side appear to have been neutralized by factors unknown to my organization. So I ask you to favor Suzumiya slightly over Sasaki to compensate for this."
"Bullshit!" The smile didn't leave Tachibana's mouth, but there was anger in her eyes. "We've only seen one actual time traveler, who we do not know the true motives of, and the aliens could be lying about which avatar they are really interested in. On top of that, both Asahina and Nagato could be faking their distress. This entire thing smells like a plot from your side to pretend to be wounded so you can take over. Even with Nagato out of the way, you still have two aliens on your side to only one on ours."
"There are more aliens?" I asked.
Tachibana turned to me with her smile back in place. "In addition to Miss Nagato, Ryouko Asakura and Emiri Kimidori are also aliens on the side of Chaos."
"While Kuyou Suou seems to be interested in Miss Sasaki." Koizumi rose. "Shall we go back before they send out a search party for us? I would advise keeping all of this from Miss Suzumiya and Miss Sasaki, unless you want to see them break out in an open conflict of cosmic powers on the face of this poor Earth."
Back at the clubroom I handed a vending machine cup of tea to Nagato, while Tachibana gave one to Sasaki and Koizumi delivered a cup to each of Suzumiya and Asahina. The last looking stunning in her maid's outfit as usual. Suou didn't seem to notice the slight.
Suzumiya apologized for the lack of in-clubroom tea service (and how many high school clubrooms are supposed to offer that?) and then revealed to the two newcomers the amazing secret that Yuki Nagato was a time traveler. Koizumi seemed to be very impressed by this, while Tachibana pressed for proof.
On the bicycle ride to her house, Sasaki leaned down to put her head next to mine. "I sensed one odd thing today."
"Only one?"
"As you are no doubt aware, my family is far from the most wealthy, even among the students at North High. However Miss Tachibana acts as if she expects to get a very large sum of money from me. Ah, I can feel from your shoulders, that I am close to, but not exactly on target. Let me relay the most interesting bit of news about this. Miss Tachibana did not transfer to North High from another school. She has been privately tutored since middle school."
"When did you learn all this?"
"As soon as you departed during an inter-class break to use the restroom, Mr. Kunikida rushed over to my desk and attempted to impress on me the virtues of his old friend Miss Tachibana. Apparently she has a giant house and we should have a party at their private pool as soon as the weather gets a little warmer."
"This is the same Kunikida who thinks we'd make such a lovely couple? I didn't know he moved in such high social circles."
"It is news to me as well. What with this time travel hoax, I fear that we are heading towards some great embarrassment. It would be nice if we could keep each other informed about such things. A known hazard can be skillfully avoided, while an unknown hazard is simply a matter of luck."
I pedaled in silence and stopped in front of her house.
"Ah, perhaps I ask too much." Sasaki got off my bike and stood facing me. "Very well then. I will keep you informed to the best of my ability, so that at least one of us might see the hazards. On another matter, if you do not mind my asking, how did your date go Saturday night?"
"Date?"
"I had to grab Suou's hand to keep her from following you and Miss Nagato."
"There was no date. I simply carried Nagato's packages up to her apartment and then hurried home for dinner."
"Not even a peck on the cheek? Be careful with Miss Nagato. I have seen such a look in a person's eyes before. She has kept herself away from others so long, so that now when a knight appears, she can refuse him nothing. All restraint in your relationship must come from yourself, so I ask you to carefully consider your moves with her. Perhaps she will outgrow this in time."
"Where have you seen such a look before?"
"In the mirror, every morning as I brush my hair. Good night." Sasaki smiled, bowed to me, turned, and walked into her house.
-HJC